The Kiss Ranking
by Marorin5
Summary: The class finds Irina's Top 5 Kissers in Class E Ranking that Korosensei just happened to drop, and things escalate from there.


**I realized that, despite Karmanami being my favorite ship in this fandom, and being a Nagikae shipper as well, I've never written anything about either pairing. And that's something that had to be changed. Add the knowledge of the Top 5 Kissers in Class E List, and this was born!**

 **Also, I wanna thank my friend Gotrix for helping me plan this story out. Thanks, man! Wouldn't have been able to do it without you and your ideas!**

 **I hope this makes for an entertaining read! :)**

* * *

It was another normal day at school. Well, as normal as it could get, considering they were in the appropriately nicknamed Assassination Classroom. It had started with an assassination attempt at homeroom, which—of course—failed, and after lecturing why it had failed, Korosensei had begun classes with his usual vigor. As normal, there were a couple more assassination attempts during the day, but—to the surprise of no-one, really—Korosensei managed to avoid every single one of them.

(We'll get him next time!" The students are now so confident of themselves and their abilities. A far cry from the E Class he'd met at the beginning of the year. Korosensei was honestly _so proud_.)

Lunch break had come and now all members of the E Class were eating to their heart's content in their classroom. Korosensei, having already finished the mountain of sweets that was his lunch, stretched as he got up from the chair he was sitting on. While doing so, he dropped a piece of paper, and Yuuma, being the one sitting closest to Korosensei, was the only one who noticed.

"Aah! I've suddenly wanted to have myself some Vietnamese tea!" Korosensei announced, going to the window and opening it so he could take off. "I'll be back in a moment!" And then he was off.

"Ah! Korosensei, wait—" Too late. Yuuma sighed as he stood up and picked up the paper Korosensei had dropped. "He didn't notice he dropped this…"

"What is that?" Hiroto asked curiously, looking over Yuuma's shoulder to read what the paper said. "…Wait. Is this…? IT'S A KISS RANKING!" His classmates were surprised, some letting their feelings known out loud. Hiroto's eyes skimmed on the five names written in order, but stopped when he saw his name and the number he was assigned. "I'm _fourth_?! Why though?! I kiss way too well to be only top four!"

"That's what you _think_ ," Irina said, rolling her eyes. "I'm the kissing master in this classroom, so I would know."

"Bitch-sensei, were you the one to do this list?" Hinano asked.

"Yup. I've kissed all of you, so I thought it'd be fun to rank the top 5. I was gonna show it to you, but I guess it slipped my mind."

It was so like Bitch-sensei that no-one in the class questioned her. What Kouki did consider worth asking was, "Why did Korosensei have it though?"

The seductive assassin gave a shrug. "Hell if I know. The octopus must've been cleaning the teachers' lounge with that Mach 20 speed of his and found it or something."

"Maybe, but that's not important right now! Why am I fourth, Bitch-sensei?!" Hiroto looked honestly offended.

"Maybe you suck at kissing," Hinata suggested, giving Hiroto a glare.

"Eh?! No, I don't! Actually, I probably have more kissing experience than all of you combin—" He couldn't even complete his sentence because Hinata gave him a good kick in the head.

"You don't to remind us you're a womanizing shitbag, we already know!"

"Anyway, he's fourth because he uses cheap techniques instead of putting more of his feelings," Irina explained. "He's still got a lot to learn, but since he's still young, he can improve."

"See that being a womanizing shitbag doesn't mean you're good at kissing?!" Hinata questioned Hiroto—who was lying on the floor after that good kick he had received—harshly.

"…Well, since I'm in the list and you're not, I can at least say that I'm better at kissing than y—OW! What was that for?!"

"So, kiss ranking, huh?" Rio mused, getting the paper off of Hiroto's hands while he was busy arguing with Hinata. "Okay, let's see… first place, Nagisa… Nagisa?!" Rio turned to look at the blue-haired boy, who looked shocked and flustered from the reveal. "You're the best kisser in the class?! I'm so proud of you!"

"U-Um, I don't really think I'm…"

"The list says different, Nagisa! Man, I'm so proud! But then again, after that kiss with Kayano-chan, it's to be expected, right?!"

"Not really…"

"Ah, c'mon, Nagisa! Don't deny what we all saw~!" Karma grinned wolfishly. "I mean, I even saw some tongue there and everything!"

"Karma!"

"Well, as we could all see with that kiss, while he doesn't have the best technique, Nagisa brings results," Irina stated. "It's why I decided to give first place to him. After all, what matters are the results, right?"

Nagisa stuttered in embarrassment, while Kaede was wishing the ground would just swallow her and she could disappear. _T-That… that kiss… W-Well, I guess I do agree on that first place,_ she mused, somehow becoming redder than she already was.

"Wooooah, Kayano's as red as a tomato."

"Look at her!"

"Is that even humanly possible?"

Rio grinned at the flustered pair, deciding to save them from their misery… for now. "Next up is Yada-chan! Congrats on your second place, Yada-chan!"

"Congratulations indeed!" Irina jumped in. "You're my proud masterpiece, Touka! I'm so proud of you!"

"A-Ah, thank you," Touka smiled, a bit embarrassed but nonetheless proud.

"Huh. Well, as expected of Bitch-sensei's number one student, I guess."

"Is it me, or does this make her more attractive…?"

"I would like to say it's just you, Okajima… but you're right."

"Knew it!"

"Surely this is a skill that will help you in the negotiation world, won't it?" Hinano teasingly nudged her friend, ignoring the boys' talk.

Touka blushed a little. "Oh, no, I don't plan on using it for that, though! You know this, Hinano-chan!"

"What?! Why not?" Irina looked extremely offended, questioning Touka and her reasons of not using 'such a dangerous weapon' for negotiations.

While Irina continued to try and get answers out of Touka, Rio continued reading the list. "Third place is Karma!"

"Huh," Karma whistled. "Not bad."

"EHH?"

"Ehh? Karma's third?"

"That's interesting…"

"Well, he's a guy that can do just about anything…"

"Yeah, well, this brat's good at everything," Irina sighed, giving a shrug. "And since it seems like he's got skills and practice, it's pretty boring for me, as a teacher. There's nothing to fix."

"SKILLS?!"

"PRACTICE?!"

Hiroto and Taiga both run towards Karma, looking for answers.

"AKABANE, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? HAVE YOU BEEN HOLDING OUT ON US?!"

"HAVE YOU EVEN KISSED SOMEONE BEFORE THIS CLASS HAPPENED?"

Karma gave a slow, cat-like blink, and smirked at them both. "Yup."

"WHAT."

"WHEN?"

"HOW?!"

"I'VE GOT SO MANY QUESTIONS!"

"Well, that's too bad," Karma shrugged.

"WAIT, DOES THAT MEAN YOU'RE NOT TELLING US ANYTHING?"

"Exactly."

"BUT… BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE BRO CODE? AKABANE, _WAIT—_!"

"Yeah, anyway. We all know who the fourth is, and the fifth is…" Rio grinned evilly. "Okuda-chan! Man, I did not expect that from you!"

"E-Ehh?! M-Me?" Manami stuttered shyly.

"Yup!"

"That's… unexpected."

"Nah, man. The quiet ones are the most dangerous!"

"Are they really?"

"Well, it's a well-known saying, so it must have some truth into it, right?"

"I suppose…"

"Manami is shy, and she doesn't even realize it herself, but she's got quite the potential for kissing," Irina nodded seriously. "If only she didn't get so stiff when kissed…"

"Looks like we both made it into Bitch-sensei's list, Okuda-san!" Karma commented, giving her an amused smile.

"Y-Yes, seems like we did," Manami smiled at the red-head. "I hadn't expected to be there myself, though…"

"Aw, don't sell yourself short, Okuda-san! Well, shorter than you are, anyway."

"Hey! You only say that because you're tall," she giggled.

"Yup! But my point still stands, Okuda-san! And anyway, it seems like neither of us could beat Mr. Cassanova over there," he motioned to where Nagisa was standing, a smirk on his face.

"I can hear you, Karma! And I'm not a Cassanova!"

"Oh, really? Well, lemme refresh your memory then!"

"Karma, I swear, if you're gonna show me that picture again…"

"I'm sorry, Nagisa. I'd use more pictures if I _had_ them, but since you and Kayano-chan won't kiss again, this'll have to do!"

"T-That's…!"

Just then, Korosensei arrived from his trip to Vietnam. "Nyuuya! Looks like a lot has happened while I was gone," he hummed, admittedly interested, as he entered the classroom. "Can someone update sensei on what's happening?"

"Well, we found Bitch-sensei's list you dropped, and apparently it's a ranking of the five best kissers," Justice explained, giving a small shrug.

"Why did you even _have_ that list, Korosensei?" Sumire asked.

"Well, I thought it was interesting, so I figured I would ask Irina-sensei about it, and then I forgot!"

"You don't seem the kind to forget these kinda things though, Korosensei," Yuzuki's eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Hey! Sensei can forget stuff every now and then too, you know?!"

"Sure, sure…"

"I have a question, Bitch-sensei!" Taiga walked up to their blonde teacher, who was chatting with Touka, Hinano and Yukiko, a determined look on his face. "I wanna know… HOW COME I DID NOT MAKE IT ON THE TOP 5?!"

"There's no way you would have made it, you pervert!" Megu snapped.

"That's mean, Kataoka…!"

"Well, fantasizing about it isn't the same as doing it, Okajima," Irina said, as if she was giving him a very valuable lesson.

"Hah! Hear that?" Hiroto smirked.

Taiga glared at the class playboy. "Well, at least I wasn't fourth despite being the most experienced!"

"Hey! At least I _have_ experience!"

Kouki sighed. "Man, popular people piss me off sometimes… So lucky…!"

"What I wanna know, is how Karma apparently has got experience at kissing!" Ryouma said loudly, pointing to the mischievous student in question.

"Ehh? What is it, are you jealous that no-one wants to kiss your cow face?"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"

"Cow face. Unoriginal, but quite fitting," Itona nodded to himself.

"WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!"

"Okuda-chan~!" Rio grinned at the shorter girl, who seemed startled by her sudden approach. "Man, who would've thought our little Okuda-chan would be such a good kisser~? You should prove just how good a kisser you are and try again!"

"E-E-Ehh?!" Manami's face turned engine red quite quickly. "N-No, I couldn't possibly—!"

"Aw, come on! Maybe with some you trust? Like… Karma! Hey, Karma!" Rio called him over, ignoring Manami's mortified stuttering. Karma, who had been arguing with Ryouma, walked towards her and raised an eyebrow in question. "We're thinking about seeing if the ranking is right. So would you kiss Okuda-chan so we can tell?"

Without any hesitation whatsoever: "Sure."

"THAT WAS EASY!"

Taiga brightened up. "Oh, oh—if that's the case, then I'll kiss Yada!"

"What?! No!"

"Good try, man," Hiroto patted the rejected Taiga on the shoulder sympathetically.

"Go ahead, Karma-kun, Okuda-san!" Korosensei was pink, giddy while holding his shipper book. "Don't mind us!"

"Wait, so this is really happening?" Takuya blinked.

"Seems like it," Taisei nodded.

Karma stepped closer to Manami. "You okay with this, Okuda-san?" He really had no issue whatsoever with the situation they were in, but he wanted to make sure she didn't have any issues with all this either. He was a sadist, yes, and he liked to humiliate people, yes, but he knew where to draw the line when teasing the people he cared about, and he happened to have a soft spot for Manami.

Manami nodded. While she was incredibly embarrassed and her cheeks were burning, this would not be her first kiss (thanks to Irina) nor the first time she's been kissed in front of the entire class (also thanks to Irina). And if she had to kiss anyone, she really preferred it to be Karma, since he was one of the people she was most comfortable with.

What she wasn't sure of, however, were the emotions she was suddenly experiencing ever since Rio suggested she and Karma kiss. It wasn't discomfort, not really—actually, it was a really _nice_ feeling. Manami was _bad_ with emotions, so she wasn't sure why she felt some kind fluttering feeling in her stomach, but she figured it wasn't a bad thing, so she accepted it.

Karma smiled at her, seeing her affirmation and her determined eyes, and he grabbed her cheeks, leaning forwards and pressing his lips against hers.

The reactions were varied.

"What the FUCK?!" —Terasaka.

"Ooh, get 'em, Akabane!" —Maehara.

"I'm so jealous…! Damn you, Akabane!" —Okajima.

"Go for it, Manami-chan!" —Kurahashi.

"And with the most attractive guy in class, too!" —Yada.

"Ehh? He's the most attractive?"

"I thought for sure that would be Isogai…"

"Well, when it's look alone, Karma-kun wins! But when it's all things considered, the win goes to Isogai-kun."

"HE'S AN IKEMEN, AFTER ALL!"

"That's it, guys! Give us a show!" —Nakamura.

"Nakamura, are you filming this?" —Sugino.

"Of course I am! How could I not?"

But, of course, the most delighted one was Korosensei, who was rapidly scribbling in his notebook with a giddy look on his pink face.

"My ship is finally becoming canon…!" —Korosensei.

Karma and Manami finally pulled away. The purple-eyed girl was red in the face and while he would never admit it, the golden-eyed boy also had some color adorning his cheeks. He looked quite adorable, but those who wanted to tease him about it decided to be wise and not say a thing.

Irina was clapping proudly at her students. "Bravo! That's the kind of spectacle I expect with my lessons!"

Rio grinned naughtily. "So… are the kiss rankings confirmed? Do you deserve your place in the Top 5?"

"I think Okuda-san definitely deserves her ranking!" Karma said easily, giving the girl a smile.

"K-Karma-kun deserves his ranking, too," Manami spoke shyly, smiling back at him.

"Well, and since we all saw quite the show you guys put for us, I say we can agree," Rio laughed.

"Yeah, and since Okuda-san and I kissed…" Karma smirked, and the students suddenly felt a devilish aura appear around him. "I say Nagisa and Kayano-chan should kiss as well!"

"WHAT?!"

The class turned to see the duo in question. While Nagisa's cheeks were tinted red, he seemed much less flustered than Kaede, who seemed to be overheating. Everyone could see imaginary smoke coming out from her ears.

"I say that's a great idea!"

"Yeah! I mean, we all saw them kiss before, so what's another time?"

"Nurufufufufu, well, this is certainly an interesting development!" The pink faced Korosensei looked very happy with how things were going. "Nagisa-kun, Kayano-san, are you up to the challenge?"

"I mean…" Nagisa seemed flustered, but not entirely against the idea. "I wouldn't… m-mind, really…"

"Well, the man's up for the challenge."

"He did rank first place though."

"Indeed. It's no wonder why he knocked Kayano out."

"I wonder if that'll happen again…"

"So, Kayano-chan, are you up for the challenge, too?!" Rio asked in excitement.

…Only to see that Kaede was in no condition of answering. She was somehow even redder than before, and she was stuttering nonsense, a faraway look in her eyes. Words like "kiss" and "assassinated" were heard from her endless mumble, but no-one could really make what she was saying.

"Kaede-san, please breathe!" Manami shook her friend, trying to snap her out from whatever trance she was in. The green-haired girl was talking so fast she was barely even breathing.

"Well, we've lost Kayano," Tomohito laughed awkwardly.

"Anyone here know CPR?" Ryuunosuke asked, looking around.

"I do!" Justice raised his hand. "Who knows, might get me on that top 5 list."

"NAGISA! YOU DO IT!" Rio grinned gleefully, pushing the boy closer to Kaede. "AND DON'T FORGET TO USE HE TONGUE!"

"It's CPR!"

"USE THE TONGUE!"

"That's not how CPR works!"

"It's a new technique for sudden revival! I'm sure it'll work, now do it!"

"N-NO!" Kaede had come back to the world of the living and was moving her hands frantically. "I'm okay! No need for CPR!"

"But there's need for that kiss!" Rio exclaimed with a smirk.

"T-T-There's no need for that either…!" Kaede was so flustered that not even her acting skills would get her out of that situation with no suspicion. Good thing Nagisa was the most oblivious person to ever exist.

"But Akabane and Okuda kissed," Kirara pointed out. She had a dark smirk on her face. "It makes sense if you and Nagisa kiss too."

"I-I mean…"

"Well, if Kayano doesn't want to, then we won't," Nagisa said.

Karma snorted. "That's not what you were thinking when you went and kissed her that time."

" _This_ and _that_ are completely different!"

 _He's right,_ Kaede realized. _This_ is _completely different. At that time, my mind was fuzzy due to the tentacles, but this time… I can think straight! And besides, everyone in class has been kissed in front of everyone. It's not really a big deal. Manami-chan did it, so I can do it too, right? It's not like it'll be that bad. …In fact, it'll probably be really good—STOP IT RIGHT THERE, AKARI!_

"Well, if they don't want to, then they shouldn't have to, right?" Rinka said coolly.

"You're right…"

"Yeah."

"U-Um…" Everyone turned to her. Kaede's cheeks darkened. "I… actually wouldn't mind."

"You wouldn't?" Nagisa asked, incredulous. He seemed so surprised. It melted Kaede's poor heart.

Those who knew about Kaede's crush on Nagisa blinked, and some of them had a huge grin forming in their faces once they realized the unexpected development that was happening.

(Those who knew about Kaede's crush on Nagisa are listed below:

Yukiko and Manami were told by Kaede, although Yukiko had figured it out before she even mentioned it.

Karma and Rio could tell easily due to Kaede's reactions to their teasing.

Hiroto seemed to have his suspicions. A man that has dated so much knew a thing or two about crushes.

Sumire could tell. Her motherly instinct never lied.

Kirara seemed to suspect something, too. She might be a gloomy girl that preferred darkness, but she was a pretty observant person.

Irina, the assassin that used seduction as her main weapon, while she wasn't the most adept at _her_ own romantic relationship (neither was Tadaomi, to be honest, so it worked), she was quite skilled in noticing anyone else's romantic woes.

Korosensei was just laughing to himself quietly, blushing and giddy while holding his shipper notebook close.)

As for those who don't know, their reactions were somewhere along the lines of:

"Wait, really?!"

"And we were giving up already!"

"Look like it's still happening, guys!"

"Not at all!" Kaede answered Nagisa, doing her best to ignore their classmates' comments, or else she'd grow too flustered to function.

"Well, if that's the case…" Karma smirked. "Show us you deserve that number one spot, Nagisa!"

"C'mon, c'mon!" Sung Rio, making sure to get Nagisa and Kaede as close as possible. She shared a glance with Karma, both of them smirking as a devilish aura came from within them. They weren't about to allow the love birds to back out now! "Don't leave us waiting!"

At first, it seemed like the duo was going to leave them all waiting, since they were both blushing and shifting, avoiding each other eyes. But it seemed that Nagisa's assassination persona kicked in at some point, since he took a deep breath, muttered something like, "Well, here goes…" and, with very determined eyes Kaede knew quite well, he kissed her.

And… _wow._

Kaede thought this time it would be different, but… Her mind was once again foggy; so foggy that nothing but her and Nagisa, _kissing_ , existed. She didn't hear the shouts of encouragement, the surprised gasp, the excited squeals, nor the snap from the phones that were taking pictures (guess who!). She couldn't even hear the mutterings of a certain overjoyed teacher that was writing in his notebook at Mach 20. All she could feel was Nagisa's lips and tongue and… _Oh my goodness, this is even better than before…!_

Way too soon, Nagisa ended the kiss. However, Kaede—lost in the moment and not realizing her actions—leaned forward as if to continue the kiss, startling the bluenet. "K-Kayano?!"

And, of course, this was not lost on their classmates.

"Woah!"

"So forward!" Karma whistled.

"Didn't think Kaede-chan had it in her to be so bold!" Hinano commented.

"Wonder that this means…" Rio smirked, knowing perfectly well what it meant.

"W-W-Wait! I-It's not… It's not like that at all!" Kaede cried, waving her hands furiously, her face a hue ripe of tomato as she tried to explain herself. _Except it_ is _like that! Come on, Akari! Haruna, Kaede… You're an actress! You can get out of this! Think!_ "I-I just… wanted to see how good I am at kissing! Since, you know, Nagisa's first so… I figured he might be able to tell…"

"Ooh, well, I suppose that does make sense!"

"Nothing better than have the best kisser in class rate you, I suppose."

"Y-Yeah, exactly!" Kaede nodded enthusiastically.

 _What a save,_ Karma and Rio thought, internally amused.

"So, Nagisa, what did you think of Kayano-chan's kissing? Is she any good?" Karma asked gleefully.

"U-Uh, well…" Nagisa looked to the side, pink tinting his cheeks. "I don't think I'm the better person to ask, but… I do think she's really good."

"And the Kissing Champion has announced his verdict," Hiroto nodded seriously.

"Well, there you have it! You're a good kisser, Kaede-ch—KAEDE-CHAN?!" Touka turned to look at the green-haired girl, who was once again entirely red. They could practically see the steam going out her ears. Hearing Nagisa's words apparently made her brain short-circuit once again.

"K-Kaede-san!" Manami shook her friend in an effort to make her snap out of it.

"Looks like we've lost Kayano again," Tomohito sighed, a nervous smile in his face.

"Yeah…"

"Well, I guess Kayano really does need that CPR now, huh?"

"You're right! Hey, Nagisa! It's your turn to shine again!"

"REMEMBER TO USE THE TONGUE!"

"W-What?!"

"Ah, what a glorious day for ships," Korosensei sighed happily.

Kaede snapped out of it soon after, embarrassed beyond belief. After that, both her and Nagisa had to endure a lot of teasing from their classmates. Especially from Karma and Rio who now have two different pictures of them kissing to tease them with. It's safe to say that by the end of the day, Nagisa and Kaede were both red, embarrassed, and hoping that the list had never happened in the first place.

(Secretly, though, they weren't nearly as embarrassed about the whole incident as they showed everyone else, since it had seemed to bring them closer together. But they wouldn't say it.)

Later in the day, when the students had already left to go home, Irina walked up to Korosensei, who was reading his shipper notebook with a very, very giddy look on his face.

"Hey, octopus," Irina placed her hands on her hips. "That list… did you drop it on purpose so that your ships would become real?"

Korosensei laughed, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "I might have."

"Of course you did," she sighed.

Tadaomi looked at both of his coworkers, not really understanding what was going on. Something about a list, and ships… But looking at his fellow teachers' expressions, he decided he did not want to know and didn't bother asking. _It's probably something stupid, anyway._

* * *

 **Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this silly story. :3**


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